суббота, 07 августа 2010
yesterday i caught myself making another wish upon one of numerous artificially thought of events - shooting star/flying stork/certain time on the watch/different bullshit. well of course my mind understands that it's impossible for all my wishes to come true as many times as i come across those things. but i kept wishing, i guess, just in case. yesterday, however, i stumbled over making that wish. what do i want? luck, coincidence, or cosmic forces to help me? nope, i said with a sudden realization. it's gonna be no more wishes now. just me.
oh oh oh and by the way: www.isep.org/students/Photo_Essays/photo_essay_...
oh oh oh and by the way: www.isep.org/students/Photo_Essays/photo_essay_...
среда, 16 июня 2010
Мне цікава, які Караткевіч быў у сапраўдным жыцці? Думаю, што быў не толькі вельмі добрым гісторыкам, але і псіхолагам, плюс да ўсяго бачна, што чалавек шмат пражыў, шмат пабачыў і шмат зразумеў. Чаму я гэта кажу? Ды таму што было вельмі дзіўна ўбачыць у кніжцы, нават у такой вялікай і двухтамовай, як "Каласы пад сярпом тваім" цэлыя два разы саму сябе. Не ведаю, можа гэта больш падобна на тое, што я сама сабе ўбіла гэта у галаву, але вось две цытаты, якія проста не выходзілі ў мяне з думак і здаваліся больш, чым проста супадзеннем:
.
І яшчэ адна:
....Да, я яго кахаю. Увесь гэты час. І я яму даравала. Я не ведаю, як бы я зрабіла, калі апынулася тады на яго месцы. І ці не дараваў ен мне? Усялякага хапала. За амаль што пяць год...
Ну і ў заключэнне, Караткевіч сказаў тое, у чым я пераконваюся ўсе больш і больш, і ,напэўна, не змагу ўжо думаць інакш:
.
..Заручыны - гэта не вяселле. І нават вяселле яшче не канец. Разумееш, на зямлі існуе адзіная непапраўнасць, адзіная незваротнасць. Гэта смерць. Пакуль яна не прыйшла - усе можа змяніцца тваей воляй або капрызам лесу...
І яшчэ адна:
- Авідзій не дурань быў, калі даваў параду.
- Якую?
- Заходзіць праз акно нават калі нішто не перашкаджае заходзіць праз дзверы. Quod datum ex...facili longum male nutrit amorem - тое каханне, што легка дораць, не цягнецца доўга.
- Якую?
- Заходзіць праз акно нават калі нішто не перашкаджае заходзіць праз дзверы. Quod datum ex...facili longum male nutrit amorem - тое каханне, што легка дораць, не цягнецца доўга.
....Да, я яго кахаю. Увесь гэты час. І я яму даравала. Я не ведаю, як бы я зрабіла, калі апынулася тады на яго месцы. І ці не дараваў ен мне? Усялякага хапала. За амаль што пяць год...
Ну і ў заключэнне, Караткевіч сказаў тое, у чым я пераконваюся ўсе больш і больш, і ,напэўна, не змагу ўжо думаць інакш:
....І з вострым пракнікненнем у праўду ен зразумеў, што няма шчасця ў тым, калі толькі цябе кахаюць.
Кахаць - вось што было шчасце.
Кахаць - вось што было шчасце.
понедельник, 14 июня 2010
just when i said to myself that we have no, absolutely no right to blame anyone in anything, life threw to me something that i can not NOT criticize. maybe we can judge? sometimes? before we think through what would happen if we were in similar situation? crap, it's so freaking hard...
суббота, 24 апреля 2010
somebody up there is amused by shattering people's dreams
вторник, 30 марта 2010
Ja takaja dura)))))))
суббота, 27 марта 2010
i have sweet disappointment. seems like it is an oxymoron, but that's exactly how i feel. no, i didn't get disappointed in him. he is just great. he is seriously awesome. and he likes me. maybe not that much, but more than anyone else there. but no big moves. just small tiny sweet ones, too shy to count, no one even noticed what it was except me and him.
and so we left, without saying proper good bye, not knowing if we will see each other. well, i don't know what was on his mind, but am speaking for myself. and that's disappointing. but he is too nice to get too upset, i don't really know how it works.
and i feel like it is probably right that we didn't start anything, who knows, it might have grown into something. that a good excuse that i have for now, for my disappointment, which is sweet. don't remember when i felt like this last time. maybe never.
and so we left, without saying proper good bye, not knowing if we will see each other. well, i don't know what was on his mind, but am speaking for myself. and that's disappointing. but he is too nice to get too upset, i don't really know how it works.
and i feel like it is probably right that we didn't start anything, who knows, it might have grown into something. that a good excuse that i have for now, for my disappointment, which is sweet. don't remember when i felt like this last time. maybe never.
понедельник, 22 марта 2010
Oh, toffee, you're right. He just doesn't care that much. And this is normal, we barely know each other. What i can't believe is that i care THAT much. Or at least i am persuading myself in it, for some weird reason. But i just was on facebook, and my heart is still pumping. He actually WAS on our campus this weekend. Yes, i know he was invited by a good friend long time ago. Yes, i know that it was a big event and he was probably busy. BUT. If he cared indeed, he would use this chance, he doesn't come here every day, for heavens' sake!
...It was unexpected, overwhelming, even frustrating, but sobering. No matter whether i will see him or not this coming weekend, i will stay more calm. There are only five weekends left for me here anyway. It is better for both of us if nothing happens.
P.S. Damn, he looks good in suit!)
...It was unexpected, overwhelming, even frustrating, but sobering. No matter whether i will see him or not this coming weekend, i will stay more calm. There are only five weekends left for me here anyway. It is better for both of us if nothing happens.
P.S. Damn, he looks good in suit!)
вторник, 16 марта 2010
haha, i feel like i am back to highschool.... and it feels great!) and i soooo want to see him soon, can't stop thinking about it. which is funny since we haven't spent much time together, so i can't really miss him. but uuugrrrh, is there any place for logic? no!
please, call me!))))
please, call me!))))
среда, 24 февраля 2010
Happy Birthday my heart. You know, i just thought that you are my most valuable investment. Although I don't have you no more, I have more than abnormal, incredible, unbelievable return. I hope you will keep on growing in value just like you have been doing it so far. Whoever knows the rules, will have a fortune with you. I love you. I can not stop loving you, but it only makes me happy. Happy birthday, jonim.
пятница, 19 февраля 2010
Life is such a game. Take relationship, for example. You meet a character, he is just like anyone else. Pum! he does something nice and starts getting points - now he more or less stands out from the crowd. Managed to get enough points? Please proceed to the next level! And so on, until it ends with him loosing points or you loosing your head. And the funny thing is - nobody came up with a crack for this game yet. Probably never will.